Nobody knows the emptiness I have in my heart,
Nobody knows I silently cry in the shower,
Nobody knows I replay your voice over and over again in my head like some sort of lullaby to help me fall asleep.
Nobody knows that I often think I see you in a store or driving by and my heart is happy again - only for a second and then I remember you are gone.
Nobody knows how my heart breaks for my dad - who is suddenly widowed,
For my Aj - who no longer has "nuna" in his life,
And for Liam who will never know how great you were.
Nobody knows I talk to you - when I'm all alone - and I swear I hear you talking back.
Nobody knows how scared I am that the day will come that I will forget what your voice sounded like.
Nobody knows the tears that I shed, in silence, after Liam was born. Tears because you were not there and tears for the future. After all, who could I ask when I had "baby questions"?
Nobody knows the anger I feel - you were taken away from us way to soon.
Nobody knows sadness I feel - My mom is really gone.
Nobody knows the guilt I carry around for not visiting with you that last day.
Nobody knows the comfort I feel - knowing that you and I will be reunited again in Heaven.
3 comments:
Dear Heather,As sad as this poem is,its a beautiful tribute to your Mom and to you as the compassionate loving daughter that you were to her and are to your Dad.Anyone who has lost a loved one will be touched by this. Stay strong sweetie and please don't ever feel guilty about things you wished you had done,your Mom knew how much you loved her. Love Auntie Marie
Thank you so much Marie - it means alot xoxo
SHE knows Heather. She hears your cries. Your children will grow like a garden, watered by your tears and with the memories you share of her.
It will be 3 years in September I lost my dad and I still feel every emotion you are going through. It gets a little less frequent, but not easier nonetheless.
Dylan was 2 when he passed, but I keep his memory alive, with stories with pictures. He remembers his Papa because of the life he had, and your kids will remember your mom.
He sends balloons up to Papa in Heaven, so he has a connection to him, and it makes me smile that at almost 5 years old he still cares so much and talks about him.
I am always here if you need a friend XOXO
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