I Was "THAT" House

I don't know about anyone else, but when I was a kid and whenever I was driving in the car with my mom there was always one house, sometimes two, often times more. The house we would drive by and mom would say, "Could you ever live in that house?" I would look over - disgusted! Often times the house had shades drawn, overgrown grass and paint chipping - A present day haunted house. My reply "EWWW NO!" and to which my mom would counter, "You know their bum smells." Like somehow because they didn't take care of their house, they definitely were not up to par on their hygiene. But I do have to say I definitely agreed. And so every time I would drive by "that" house it would be known as the "Smelly bum haunted house."

So you can kinda guess that growing up we always had an impeccable house - white glove cleanliness and an immaculate yard. When we were little we knew enough to only take out the toys we were going to play with at that time and when we were done with said toy to put it away. You could definitely say my mom was obsessed with cleanliness and that my friends is definitely a gene she has passed on to me. It is both a gift and a curse.

Flash forward many years later when I moved in with my then boyfriend. I guess my first sign should have been that he went and picked out the house we would be living in without me. I HATED the house right off the bat. It was beyond hideous. However, he reassured me that "major renovations" were going to take place. SWEET! I could put up with living in the house knowing it was all going to be redone. Long story short - No major renovations took place. Oh, OH, OH wait I'm sorry we did get new carpet in the living room. I was at work when it was picked out and put down (surprise, surprise). Well, when I walked through the door I was horrified to say the least - the very least. It was an indoor/outdoor carpeting. Now I'm no expert in carpeting, but I can pretty much assume that when it says indoor/outdoor carpeting IT'S NOT MEANT FOR A LIVING ROOM!

Everyday I would come home from work and cringe whenever I pulled into the driveway. I would look at the house - the paint was chipping. I looked around at the yard - What Yard??! it was nothing but a mud pit. And the worst part - for me, cars were parked on the front lawn. This is not o.k. people. Never, ever EVER under any circumstances should you park your car on your front lawn. This screams, "RED NECK!" Hello! This is what the driveway was for. I brought up these "issues" with my boyfriend. He didn't see anything wrong with things and his excuse for parking on the lawn - It's easy to get out. What? Did I hear him correctly? We have a huge driveway that is very easy to get out of. Trust me! I have no problem getting out of the driveway. Oh sure, I am the only car actually parked in the driveway but C'Mon!

Well my issues with the house did not go away, but I learned to deal with them as best I could. Maybe I was being too picky and asking for too much. I mean the paint chipping gave our house that "antique look" and the cars parked on the lawn? Maybe, just maybe, people would drive by and think " wow, those people who live in that house must be tough!" Cuz only tough people would park on lawns - right? Well, my new outlook lasted all but three days. It was when I pulled into the driveway after a long day at work and I glanced over at the mud pit, I looked at the four or five cars parked on the lawn and realized in that instant that I was "That House" I was living in the smelly bum haunted house. Did little kids drive by my house and think it was scary? Or worse, did they think that because my house was gross ,and didn't look like anyone took care of it, that whoever living there (ME!) must not take care of themselves? (gasp)Did little kids and their moms think I had a smelly bum? That was it! I had it! I was done! If my boyfriend didn't see anything wrong with the house, he can stay. Let him park as many cars on the lawn as he wants, he can let ALL the paint chip off the house and he can let the yard turn in to a dirty, muddy mess. I was outta there I was off to CLEANER, GREENER pastures.